Boundary Management: Balancing The Boundaries Between Your Work And Life

Boundaries…they are lines that are drawn or established, sometimes in the sand, sometimes by a fence, sometimes in our own minds. The thing about boundaries is that we always want to cross them.We have this urge to push them, cross them, and break them. When the benefit of crossing them outweighs the cost of staying behind them, it is worth it. However, it also takes a lot of energy to cross a boundary, it takes a lot of personal and professional energy to make that choice to push or climb or just simply step over our boundaries. Crossing too many boundaries can lead to burnout and exhaustion. The key is to make the right choices as to which boundaries to cross and when.

It is difficult to find the right balance between our boundaries so that they can overlap, without causing us stress, grief and regret.

We all have personal, professional and societal boundaries that we feel have to abide by. These boundaries can be constructed of our families, children, friends, bosses, work hours, geographic location, societal norms, and even our own values. We have to make choices every day that keep us in balance. We have to be able to choose which boundaries to cross and which to stay behind.

How do you know if you’re out of balance? Most people don’t realize they have lost the balance between their boundaries until it is too late. The following checklist is comprised of symptoms that indicate an imbalance between work and personal life. If you check off 3 or more, you may be starting to lose your balance. If you have 5 or more, you are out of balance and need to reestablish the boundaries between work and your personal life.

¨  Fatigue

¨  Lost time with friends and/or family

¨  Lack of sleep or insomnia issues

¨  Increased expectations from your boss, co-workers, friends, and/or family

¨  Lost leisure time

¨  Loss of interest in work/family activities

¨  Increased participation in energy zapping activities (gossip, internet time, social networking, TV or gamming time)

¨  Increased illness

¨  Feeling the need to stay constantly connected to work via phone or computer

¨  Inability to say no to new or more obligations

Ask yourself this question: Am I bringing happiness and enjoyment into my life? If not, then you need to rethink the choices you are making between your work and personal life.

1. Build downtime into your schedule. Take lunch away from your desk at least 3 times a week, schedule time out of the office during your break, schedule dinner with friends and family, schedule at least 15 minutes of quiet time into your schedule.
2. Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize. Keep a calendar and to do list with you to avoid double booking and to keep track of what you need done and when. Know what you can put off until tomorrow and what has to get done today. This will prevent wasting time on unnecessary activities.
3. Get rid of activities that are energy zappers. Activities such as gossiping, internet time, gamming, excessive social networking and the like zap your energy and take up time that could be better used to advance your career or with your family and friends.
4. Find A Balance Buddy: We all know those people who seem to have it all worked out. Tap into what that person has to offer. Learn about how they keep things balanced and learn from them.
5. Use Technology to your advantage, not detriment. Cell phones, computers and TV have their advantages, however, when used in excess, can and will hinder your personal and relaxation time. Know when to power these items down so you can power down.
6. Use your support systems. Family, friends and co-workers are great sources of support. Use them when you can. Make phone calls, send emails, and ask for assistance when you need it.
7. Share chores. Some chores can be outsourced, such as lawn work, house cleaning, cooking and grocery shopping. Swap chores with family and friends. Create a network of people who can swap chores, such as, taking turns babysitting or pet sitting, cooking meals, and light yard work.
8. Get moving. Physical activity is essential to keeping up your energy. Be sure to make it a part of your leisure activity. Hiking on the weekend, taking a walk with a friend, going for a bike ride with the kids, gardening. All of these are fun and keep you active.

Managing boundaries is not an easy task, and it is impossible to get it right every time. It is a tricky balance between work, home, family and everyday living. Sometimes the scale tips further one way than the other. The key is to make the right choices that swing it back into balance.

The following is a link to CNN’s work/life balance calculator. Use it to see how balanced you are.

http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/worklife/06/04/balance.calculator/

By Kim Trowbridge